


curious about what might hurt us

by fabulous_but_evil



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Begging, Collars, Coming to think of it: Penelope's probably trans too, Consensual Kink, Dom Penelope, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominance, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, How Do I Tag, Humiliation, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Sexism, Light Dom/sub, Mild Verbal Feminization, Mildly Dubious Consent, Name-Calling, Platonic BDSM, Sexism, Sub Luke, Toxic Masculinity, Trans Character, Trans Luke, Trans Male Character, Under-negotiated Kink, Verbal Humiliation, as in: people eating dog food, dog food, self-made dog food, that's probably vegetarian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-15 18:26:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18675070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulous_but_evil/pseuds/fabulous_but_evil
Summary: The first thing Luke thinks when he sees the pink sweater Penelope bought for Roxy isn't even about her, it's about himself.





	curious about what might hurt us

**Author's Note:**

> The dubcon tag is there because neither Luke nor Penelope tell each other they're trans. Not that it would change anything, it's just something they don't talk about, so if that's something that squicks you, you might not want to read any further.

The first thing Luke thinks when he sees the pink sweater Penelope bought for Roxy isn't even about her, it's about himself.

He thinks,  _A tough guy like me can't make his dog wear a pink sweater. I just can't_.

 _Of course_ Penelope notices, and thinks it's somehow her fault that he's trans and struggling with toxic masculinty. Somehow, he saves the situation by talking shit about Roxy's diet. He keeps the dog cookies nonetheless.

He supposes one doesn't have to be a profiler to figure out he's lying.

*

After the case's over, Garcia apologizes.

Luke's more than glad she doesn't bring up his gender status - he supposes she doesn't even  _know_ , like she also didn't know he had a dog instead of a girlfriend; surprisingly, she didn't seem to stalk her co-workers, even though she could, even if she didn't particularly like them. Instead, she talks about how Roxy is a tough lady and, well, she isn't wrong about that.

This time, the gift she gives Luke for Roxy is a studded leather collar. It's so beautiful - and big enough to fit around his own neck, he's sure - it makes him smile and stumble over his words, although he doesn't say much more than  _thank you thank you thank you_ , grinning like a school boy, and Penelope grins back, knowingly.

*

Back home, he makes himself comfortable on the couch and shares the dog cookies with Roxy. He keeps the collar for himself, though, although he doesn't wear it. He keeps it on his bedside table, staring at it before he goes to sleep, absently tracing the outline of his adam's apple with his fingers. He makes a point to always turn his back towards it when he masturbates.

*

It only takes a bunch of weeks for Penelope to figure it out.

He's just showing pictures of Roxy around to Emily and JJ, as their IT genius comes in to tell them something important and relevant to the case, only to get momentarily distracted by the dog pictures on Luke's phone. She smiles at them, saying something about that that's just what she needed after spending the better part of her day going through pictures of gruesome crime scenes and about how  _stunning Queen Roxy looks once again_. Her smile momentarily falters as she notices something in the pics, and Luke's hard immediately drops through the floor as soon as he realises what's up.

Garcia looks up from the screen and right at Luke, knowingly. He swallows.

*

After the case's over, Luke rushes to her office to - yeah, to do what, exactly? To apologize?

He clears his throat. "I wanted to explain myself."

"What's there to explain?," Penelope asks, obviously pouting, for there's the faint trace of a tremble in her voice and she doesn't even turn around to look him in the eye. "You don't like my gifts, there's that. And you're a fucking amazing actor, newbie."

"No, no, you don't understand! I really did like that collar, I swear! I liked it so much I wanted to keep it for myself actually. Not that I'm wearing it, I mean, it isn't intended for that kind of thing, but I kind of want to..." Luke's blushing bright red by now. "You probably think I'm weird now."

"Hey," she says, turning her chair around very slowly, only to beam at him like he's a personified pile of puppies, "I don't kinkshame people. Also, I used to be Goth, that kind that wears leather collars because they aren't vanilla."

"I... uhm... that's a lot to take in, actually."

"First of all, take a deep breath," she offers kindly, and Luke does. It helps indeed.

"Okay. And now you can tell me your safeword and in what way you misbehaved recently, if you'd like."

She keeps her tone perfectly neutral and her expression open. She couldn't make it any clearer that the decision is up to him, that he can still back out of this by saying  _That's not what I meant_ or  _We're colleagues, we shouldn't to this_ , but he doesn't.

"I've always used to traffic lights system before, so I'd go with _Red_?," he offers, and Garcia nods, smiling.

"So, uhm...," he sinks to his knees right where he stands just for the thrill of it - and to see Garcia beam at him appreciatively -, "I've been a bad boy for withholding Roxy's gift from her."

"That's right," Garcia says, rising from her chair to walk towards him in her killer high heels. He kind of wants to wear them just to break his ankle trying to walk in them. "That was outright naughty of you. What do you say, _bitch_?"

And Luke actually fucking whines at that, because that word carries just the right weigth to hit a little bit too close to home - there are voices echoing somewhere in the back of his mind, using that word against him in the same breath as  _dyke_ and  _freak_ , but Penelope doesn't know, and even if she did, she wouldn't mean it like that, Luke's certain, Penelope means  _you're on the same level as you're cute little dog_ , and although she's a vegetarian and values animals just as much as people, for some reason it has the same effect as if she wouldn't.

"I'm sorry, mistress," he breathes.

"I bet you are," she says, cold and cruel. "Beg for my forgiveness."

Luke takes a deep breath.  _Fuck yeah_ , he thinks, careful what to say out loud. They didn't set up any rules yet, but Luke doesn't think Garcia will tolerate swear words. He kind of wants to risk it just to find out if she would step on him if provoked.

"Please, mistress," he says, giving her his best puppy eyes, "please, forgive me. I'll be good, I promise, please, please, for give me."

She stares him down for a spare-second too long, then smiles down at him appreciatively, but there's still a cruel spark in her beautiful eyes. Luke wants to drown himself in them. "Pretty enough," she decides and takes a step back.

"You're going to give Roxy her present, and I'm going to get you a new one, and we'll talk this through, alright?"

"Yes, mistress," he beams, and she ruffles through his hair once.

"You can get up now," she smiles, all kindness and rainbows, and even helps him get back on his feet.

"You alright?," she asks.

"More than alright," he grins.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, I wanted this to have a second, more explicit chapter, but apparently, I've run out of ideas, so unless inspiration strikes again, this is finished.


End file.
